Framing To Get Results

As a communication major concentrating in Conflict Resolution and Peace Building I have been introduced to the framing theory. After this week in class I was exposed to situations where the framing theory could possibly be applied to better shape ideas on gender. My worldview brought me to the question :

CAN USING THE FRAMING THEORY BE THE CHANGE THEY WISH TO SEE?

The framing theory can be applied as a solution to fix and create positive images for the LGBTQ culture and re create gender norms for the society that we presently live in.  Because of the media we have encountered problems like toxic masculinity, gender hierarchies, and cultures are not properly recognized (such as: women, LGBTQ community and men).

The concept of framing is very important when it comes to getting the results that you desire. I also plan to discuss framing in organizations and how that can be used to get a message “across and through” to the audience. Like the picture frame that holds a picture, framing theory also shows a specific picture to a certain audience in a much larger realm. While researching I came across a website on mass communication theory and I saw that they had used model from the book The Art of Framing by Gail Fairhurst and Robert Sarr. 

Using Framing techniques per Fairhurst and Sarr (1996): 

▪    Metaphor: To frame a conceptual idea through comparison to something else.

▪    Stories (myths, legends): To frame a topic via narrative in a vivid and memorable way.

▪    Tradition (rituals, ceremonies): Cultural mores that imbue significance in the mundane, closely tied to artifacts.

▪    Slogan, jargon, catchphrase: To frame an object with a catchy phrase to make it more memorable and relate-able.

▪    Artifact: Objects with intrinsic symbolic value – a visual/cultural phenomenon that holds more meaning than the object it self.

▪    Contrast: To describe an object in terms of what it is not.

▪    Spin: to present a concept in such a ways as to convey a value judgement (positive or negative) that might not be immediately apparent; to create an inherent bias by definition. 

The Bechtel test is a creative tool to start shaping how we view women; it can also work with race (if applied). As a human we want to know how much underrepresented a woman can skew our perception of reality. Now that I am aware of this, I am starting to see how much women are really underrepresented.

When two women talk to each other for more than a minute about things other than men and relationships, this really does give more quality to the women characters.

After watching Bridesmaids in this class, I saw how this movie did a pretty good job shaping characters and giving the women in the film more qualities to them.

Last week we talked about transgender, the Bechtel test and hegemony.

Transgender and framing

An issue that I have noticed, that has to do with how the transgender community is framed is the bathroom issue. There are a lot more problems that people could worry about in society than where someone has to use the bathroom. It was a good law that was passed but the focus has been more on the negative than the positive.

I use this as an example because the media is choosing to cover these hateful stories are being presented, instead of the media outlets putting another view on its viewers. It seems like they are feeding into the frenzy about bathrooms because this talk is in the newspaper and in the news when you watch it. 

The positive in this rule was supposed to be gender equality

The negative backlash is discrimination that others are placing on people

This could be advertisement for that Christian boycott group to link up because of the media outlet covering. Target has always welcomed the transgender community but recently when Pres. Obama passed that law; they publicly announced that you can use the bathroom that you identify with your gender.

I think others took this out of context and started to get really hateful calling that community all types of names that aren’t true. This has to do with the framing theory because we as humans act on what we know and have been shown. With the framing very and tools like the Bechtel test, society's perceptions of people can be changed.

This is a funny video that I saw that is a response to the hateful bathroom boycotts!

The Bechtel Test

The Bechdel Test was created by Alison Bechdel in 1985 in her comic ‘dykes to watch out for’. Movies are tested on three aspects. 1) There are two women 2) who talk to each other 3) about something other than a man. The comic was written as a joke, but when applied to films it addresses a much bigger picture of gender and racial discrepancies within films in Hollywood.

This idea is similar to framing but is a set of guidelines that make the presence of a woman and to call attention to gender inequality in fiction due to sexism.

I believe with consistent practice using the Bechtel test our perception of women will be shaped differently, because of the opportunities to express the more woman qualities than the masculine.

Using the Bechtel test and some elements of the framing theory directors can have the two women characters tell more meaningful stories, thus breaking the traditional masculine movie themes.

Hegemony

In gender studies, hegemonic masculinity is a concept popularized by sociologist R.W. Connell of proposed practices that promote the dominant social position of men, and the subordinate social position of women.

I think that this is an interesting term and is frequently use with political power or ethnicities, but can also relate to gender. Knowing this and being aware of this would definitely be beneficial - when you are the messenger and the message.

This leads me to ask is hegemony the result of falsely framing?

Gender performativity is a term created by post-structuralist feminist philosopher Judith Butler in her 1990 book Gender Trouble, which has subsequently been used in a variety of academic fields.

What is performativity?

Performativity is a term for the capacity of speech and communication to not simply communicate but rather act or consummate an action, or to construct and perform an identity.

In her book Gender Troubles she argues that gender is not natural or inherent but it is constructed. From the moment a parent finds out she is having a girl or a boy; they start buying gender specific materials for the baby. Then when the child is growing up we tell them that they should act like a man/woman. We all have unique personalities that gender or sex will not define, so gender norms aren't always true for each individual.

A parent telling their child how they should act is framing the child using all the elements of framing. Ultimately this is shaping the behaviors for how a child should act because of his or her gender. Before a child is born you don't know how his or her personality is going to be, so parents have an ideology of how a certain gender should act using metaphors stories and tradition.

An example of this would be: “since you are a boy you can only wear blue, black and red; because all men only wear dark colors like that. You better not cry because only girls cry because they have feelings”

In class

We talked about how “people’s ideology mistake the exception for the rule”. When people confuse what happened for some, as for something that happens for all is just ideology.

Since I know what the framing theory is, I ask myself are messages being falsely framed and can implementing the Bechtel Test in movies and television shows, frame a path to gender equality to its viewers?

There is always going to be a common good amongst us as humans, but practicing these theories and concepts wouldn’t hurt at all. It should actually better inform us about the characters. It is true that women in movies mostly only talk about relationships and are only an object for a male protagonists to advance. Women are also used for their looks which self objectifies them as an object of sexual interest and lessening their intellect.

Knowing the dynamics of the framing theory will be beneficial to gender equality and can reshape the way society views gender.

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Video Games and the Bechdel Test - Overwatch

Video games often encounter problems properly representating women for various reasons but most boil down to the focus on the player. As consumable media, video games are designed for their consumer. Video games could even be looked at as tailored towards people with different tastes. Focusing upon the player video games often stick to a single point of view, that being of the character whom the player controls.  This fixed perspective tied with the correlation that most games feature a male character that the player controls leads to many games representing women as one dimensional and entirely focused or reliant upon men in various ways.

The Bechdel test was designed to look at movies and Television shows and evaluate if they portrayed women as one dimensional or not. This is determined by three rules or points. Firstly that there are at least two named women. Secondly that these two named women talk to each other. Thirdly that these two women talk to each other about something not reliant upon or about a man. The Bechdel test has been expanded from simply only being applied to movies and television shows to works of fiction, which include most if not all video games. It is worth nothing that the Bechdel test can encounter some problems when being applied to video games. This occurs in two major points.

First that a majority of video games set a male as the player character, and since the perspective and view of that game is through that character, it is likely that said male character will drive conversation and be the focus of narrative. Secondly in that video games have a variance of genres within the industry. Whether its horror games, shooters, action adventure, or real time strategy, these different genres of video games play in very different ways. A shooter like Call of Duty focuses on having the player shoot from a first person perspective and so presents the world and other characters of it from that perspective. While a real time strategy looks down upon the world from a isometric or birds eye view, and has the player control units and command them to build, move around, attack etc.. Difference in player perspective changes a lot of how genders are portrayed in a video game, which proves troublesome for applying the Bechdel test. It creates a problem of what counts in the Bechdel test and what are the limitations of the game. To examine this I'll be looking at Overwatch and a  controversy that occurred during one of its testing phases before its release.

Overwatch is a video game made and produced by Blizzard, a largely successful company best know for making World of Warcraft. Overwatch was release on the 24th of May, 2016. Before that time though it went through several beta phases, which in the video game industry serve as several testing phases. The beta phase that the controversy occurred during was considered a Closed Beta, meaning that only people who were directly asked through email or other connections were able to play and test the game. Public scrutiny was available because Blizzard allowed these players to publicly post pictures, stream the game online to show others, and generally be open about playing it short of writing rating reviews of the unfinished game. While beta phases are standard within the gaming industry, this openness of Blizzard during it is highly unusual and not common place, but very consumer friendly.

During this beta phase a comment was put on the Blizzard/Overwatch forums by a user Flipp. User Flipp's comment expressed both a gratitude for the many well developed female characters of Overwatch and then a concern of how one victory pose was ruining one of the characters. Victory poses in Overwatch are a selection of stance choices that are available to players and show at the end of the match where the winning team is standing together as their characters with each person's choice of victory pose. User Flipp had a problem with a victory pose for the character Tracer, arguing that the pose was overly sexualizing the character. Flipp went on explaining how their daughter loves Overwatch a great deal and will get to grow up alongside these characters, and that they (Flipp) don't want funny, spunky, women like Tracer to be reduced to sex symbols.

At first glance this could be seen as a problem with Overwatch's sexualization of its female characters. After all there are several other female characters, all could be considered sexualized in some way. However for forum use Flipp the problem was not over sexualization as a whole in the game, but simply on the character Tracer in this pose. The argument being that its bad because this pose doesn't fit her personality. Use Flipp detailed later in response to others that Widow being sexualized is completely fine to them because it is a part of her personality.

One way to look at the argument happening in this controversy is whether or not the women are fairly portrayed in Overwatch, with a focus on the character Tracer. So take the Bechdel test and apply it to Overwatch the video game. You'll find that while the game has seven named female characters at no point will they talk to each other for 60 seconds. In fact you'll find that no two characters or even a single character will talk for 60 seconds. This is because of the genre of video game that Overwatch is along with the focus that Blizzard took in designing it.

Overwatch is a first person shooter (FPS) specifically focused on players versus players. This means that Overwatch has no single player mode or story driven piece. All gameplay is focused on two teams of players competing in different game modes and maps. That doesn't mean that the characters don't interact. At the beginning of each match dependent upon the characters chosen by your team, two of the six characters will interact in a small dialogue. These dialogues are generally only one or two sentences from each of the two characters and last about 5 to 10 seconds. These dialogues convey a small piece of each characters personality but moreso can hint at character relationships. Overwatch does not convey its story, history (often called lore for video games), and character relationships through gameplay story telling but through dialogue as described above, and cosmetic voicelines and emotes that players can acquire. These voicelines and emotes help convey the personality of each character and are activatable by the player at any time while playing that character. Widow for instance is French, and many of voicelines her include or are exclusively in French. These custimizables have an increadible amout of variety but being activated by the player, and not actually interacting with anything or anyone else, they do not help towards passing the Bechdel test.

Overwatch's main way of telling story and history of the world of Overwatch is actually not in the game at all. Rather it is on their website through text and various short animated videos. On the Overwatch site all the characters can be found and it'll detail their abilities but also provide some backstory for each of character. In about four small paragraphs each character is given a little more depth into how they are the way they are within the game, and some events that lead to that. Though it often tells of interaction between characters, it does not detail any talking between them and so fails the Bechdel test there. Lastly there are the short animated videos. These were done by Blizzard to help publicize the game, build depth within the Overwatch universe, and show character interaction and relationships. Each video features and focuses upon at least one Overwatch character. Of four videos one features two named women, Tracer and Widow, who talk to each other and interact.

In this video Tracer and Widow's conversation spans across about 3 minutes. However it is punctuated and broken up by action segments. Could this pass the Bechdel test? Perhaps it could if at all, but that raises a bigger question. Does this allow Overwatch to pass the Bechdel test or does this video exclusively pass the Bechdel test, much as a single episode of a televeision show would.There are video games that pass the Bechdel test with flying colurs, such as the Witcher 3. However the Witcher 3 has two main focuses of gameplay for the player, combat and story. When not fighting monsters your either talking with other characters, listening to other characters interact, or traveling to doing any of the above. 

Overwatch shows the Bechdel test at its weakest. The Bechdel test is reliant upon there being a story to pass any judgement upon. Though currently intended for any work of fiction, does the Bechdel test not need tweaking and changes? For video games as an industry, is the Bechdel test truely suited as it is to judge them? I think it is not. I think the Bechdel test would need at the very least some tweaking in order to be fully applicable to video games. Video games go about things very differently and the Bechdel test judges on material many games simply won't have, much like Overwatch. That does not mean that the games miss represent women. Overwatch has been largely praised for bring a collection of well developed female characters to the genre of first person shooters. 

The Bechdel test is largeyl reliant upon there being a story, and that being a or the focus point of the fictional content. Many video games and entire genres of video games do not give much or any focus upon story, and so will be doomed to fail the Bechdel test. I think in order to adjust to judge video games, the Bechdel test needs to expand the ways in which it judges. Currently it judges based upon two named women talking for a duration. In doing so it hopes to evaluate that there are more to these women than simply their interaction with men. But do women not show this same depth when alone or not directly interacting with other people? The Bechdel test has a good focus on portrayal, which it should keep. How can that be expanded though? Fair portrayal of women can be expressed in more ways than simply their interaction with one another. Perhaps examining the motivation in female characters can help reveal their depth to this extent. Or look at their interaction portrayal not with others but alone or with objects. Do the voicelines in Overwatch show a reliance on men or can they show the depth of these female characters? To what extent can depth be shown through other means. These ideas by no means would fix the test entirely for being applied to all video games, but I think they are steps in the right direction, or at the very least the proper questions to ask towards a better end. 

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Transvisibility

In the podcast Transgender 101, the term "trans visibility" was mentioned a few times. I had never heard that term before listening to that podcast and repeatedly, they mentioned that trans visibility is so important to the LGBTQI community. For a while now, the Internet has been abuzz since Vanity Fair did an extensive photo shoot and interview with Caitlyn Jenner (formerly Bruce Jenner), who is now officially out as a trans woman. 

As much as everyone is trying to be supportive of Caitlyn, her visibility in the media is also raising some important questions about gender politics and trans visibility in the US. Journalist Peggy Drexler noted in CNN.com that some of these questions are critical of the fact that Jenner asked to be called Bruce and for he/him pronouns to be used right up until the Vanity Fair glamour shoot reveal.

Laverne Cox, the first trans woman of color to have a leading role on a mainstream scripted TV show and an Emmy- nominated actress shared in a Tumblr post, "A year ago when my Time magazine cover came out I saw posts from many trans folks saying that I am 'drop dead gorgeous' and...what I think they meant is that in certain lighting, at certain angles I am able to embody certain cisnormative beauty standards. Now, there are many trans folks because of genetics and/or lack of material access who will never be able to embody these standards. More importantly many trans folks don’t want to embody them and we shouldn’t have to to be seen as ourselves and respected as ourselves. It is important to note that these standards are also informed by race, class and ability among other intersections.”

What Cox is saying here is that not all trans individuals are able to medically transition, nor do they all desire to do so. Even those trans individuals able to have top and/or bottom surgery covered by insurance would likely not be able to add facial feminization or masculinization surgery to the list. Relating this to Jenner's narrative, many people say that her ability to get surgery is tied to her celebrity and class status. She has the money and the status to make that part of transitioning easily attainable. More than that, transition is a process. A trans woman doesn't “become” a woman only when surgery and hormone therapy are complete; she has already been a woman the entire time regardless of her choice to use hormones or undergo any surgery at all.

Trans visibility, if relegated solely to the covers of magazines, might have much the same effect on trans individuals and their sense of what kinds of bodies are acceptable and desirable. There are unmeetable beauty standards being imposed on women by airbrushed fashion and beauty magazines. Those same standards are having the same negative mental health effects on gay men. 

Cox continued, “Most trans folks don’t have the privileges Caitlyn and I have now have. It is those trans folks we must continue to lift up, get them access to healthcare, jobs, housing, safe streets, safe schools and homes for our young people. We must lift up the stories of those most at risk, statistically trans people of color who are poor and working class.” 

Trans visibility shouldn't only be about celebrating the physical beauty of celebrity trans women. We need to ensure that ALL trans individuals have the resources necessary to live full and productive lives regardless of how well their experiences fit into our preconceived notions of cultural beauty norms. This Advocate article explores the ways in which Twitter might be a better venue for such discussions when compared to sites like Facebook, where articles are often shared and liked without much commentary. Our social media obsessed society tends to easily talk about the latest news, regardless of our knowledge on it. What the Advocate article shows is a few tweets that show how Caitlyn Jenner was celebrated and applauded for her coming out and transition meanwhile, there are hundreds of others around the world that have been out years before Caitlyn and aren't being talked about. Not only that, there are hundreds of others who have came out or transitioned and rather than being celebrated, they have been bullied and committed suicide or have been killed. It becomes a conflicting matter when we want to be happy for someone but you also can't, knowing that there are many others who have had unfortunate outcomes. 

Although trans visibility is very important, we need to be careful about hypervisibility. When a person or group is hypervisible they may also be invisible, in the sense that society treats them as irrelevant. This hypervisibility puts marginalized groups, especially transgender people of color, at risk of  violence by those who do not want trans people to be equal or have equal rights. It should be noted that a large majority of anti-LGBTQI hate crimes are directed at people of color. Hypervisibility is what turns trans people's' lives into spectacle like when the media and the larger society as invasive questions about their surnames or surgical status, as if that was all there was to them. Those are just some example of ways that hypervisibility acts in the day to lives of trans. Many times, media personalities ask celebrities inappropriate questions- even after they are told that they will not be answered- and then get upset when people refuse to answer them. that is something that happens on a day-to-day basis in the life of an average trans but unlike celebrities who can walk away from the interview and move on, trans are sometime loaded with inappropriate questions that impact their personal lives or even end in violence if they don't answer those questions. 

How can we make sure trans individuals of all races and classes have equal access to employment, affordable healthcare and housing, and mental health resources? How can we reduce hate crimes and violence against trans individuals – and especially trans people of color?

This website for an immigration lawyer firm is drawing attention to the plight of immigration detention for trans women who are often placed in cells with men while they await asylum. Even Chelsea Manning had to sue the U.S. militaryto be allowed to begin hormone therapy while incarcerated for whistleblowing. Add to this the fact that majority of incarcerated trans individuals are jailed according to the gender they were assigned at birth, meaning trans women are forced to serve time in men's prisons, where the likelihood of harassment, violence, and sexual assault is much higher. By treating trans women the way we treat "regular" women, we can start making a difference in the safety of trans people of all backgrounds and intersectionalities. We need to stop being scared of the unknown and treat others the way we want to be treated.

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The Bechdel Test

The Bechdel Test

Why is my equality so threatening?

This week my eyes were opened to the surprising lack of depth to female characters in cinema. I found that many of my favorite movies did not make the cut. I would like to dive a little deeper into what the heck is happening in Hollywood but first, let’s start with what the Bechdel Test is.

The Bechdel Test was developed in 1985 by Alison Bechdel. There are a few basic rules to pass this test: (1) it has to have at least two women in it, who (2) who talk to each other, about (3) something besides a man (and when it comes to movies, the conversation should last more than 60 seconds).

Basically, the point is to represent women as the multidimensional figures they are in real life instead of the one dimensional figures you typically see represented in popular film. The Bechdel Test does not demand a movie is turned into a radical feminist piece. Typically, we see women in movies are reduced to objects for the advancement of the male protagonist. The Bechdel Test challenges the assumption that women cannot be strong female leads without the movie being a “chick-flick.”

 A favorite movie of mine that did not pass the cut is Napoleon Dynamite. While Summer, Deb, Trisha, and Lafawnduh are named, the only time we really see two named female characters speak to each other is when Summer and Trisha do so briefly and we do not hear their conversation. There is also a point when we see Summer speak to some other girls about getting her hair done but they are not named, nor do they verbally respond. I realized just how little female interaction there is in this movie when I searched for either clip mentioned above and could not find it online, further showing its insignificance to the movie as a whole.

A movie I just saw that did pass the cut is Seth Rogan's Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising. I was happily surprised to find the movie to have feminist values without being off-putting to those who do not directly support the feminist movement. The plot revolves around three college girls who want to start their own sorority where they can throw their own parties, instead of taking part in the sexist fraternity parties. Even when the main character Shelby loses her virginity, her sorority celebrates her instead of talking about who she lost it to.

 

 

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising outrightly challenges the patriarchy, rape culture, and micro-aggressions women face everyday. We see the feministic values in the way this sorority, Kappa Nu, engages in behavior typically socially considered less ladylike (like consistently getting high for the fun of it). We also see a battle of the wits in this film. Women are portrayed as intelligent instead of the ditzy quality you typically find when girls are in the movies because of their physical attractiveness. 
 

I will admit, however, there is a scene I do not fully support as a feminist. The sorority girls are hanging out with each other in the front yard, in their bikinis, attempting to "use their sexuality as a weapon" against their neighbors who are attempting to get them kicked out of their house so they can sell their own. As Mac tries to leave his home the sorority girls proceed to take the majority of his clothes off by the time he reaches the inside of his car. They then surround his car to which his wife responds by using a hose. This does not work however as seen in the trailer from 1:58-2:10. This movie is definitely not perfect but is certainly better than other movies where the women are second-class citizens to the men and the storyline.

I guess the main question I have comes down to this:

How can we continue what Seth Rogan has started and create more movies which are enjoyable for the majority of the audience to watch but does not need to fulfill the damsel in distress stereotype?

            An article I read entitled, “Swedish cinemas take aim at gender bias with Bechdel test rating,” showed that Sweden has already started to take initiative towards gender equality. In their film reviews they state whether or not the particular movie passes the Bechdel Test. I think America is more than capable of participating in similar measures. Instead of going to http://bechdeltest.com/ to see if a movie you are interested in has been reviewed and passed the cut, which would require you to know what the Bechdel Test is in the first place, how about we make this information more available to consumers. If America followed Sweden’s lead, many people would become more mindful of such underrepresentation, which could lead to the demand for more movies like Seth Rogan’s Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising film in which men are not always the ones who are plagued with creating the happily ever after’s for the women.

            I found an article entitled “A Seth Rogen Movie Is Somehow the Wokest, Most Feminist Movie of the year so far” and I appreciated two main things about the content: how it explains how the second movie makes up for the shortcomings of the first (the first Neighbors movie does not pass the Bechdel Test) and at the end when it states Seth Rogan is adapting to critiques instead of complaining that he is being attacked by those who expect comedy to still uphold some politically correctness instead of using the genre as a scapegoat.

I really appreciate how instead of the girls having guys save them in the end of the movie they realize that their power is found in their bonds with each other. Their sisterhood is challenged when they realize they do not have enough money to keep renting their house but the woman next door, which has been in conflict with them the entire movie, stops the breakdown of their friendship by relating to them that their house is not Kappa Nu, they are. We see in the end that because of this close friendship they have created, more people want to join Kappa Nu, and they are able to keep their bonds, as well as their house.

On my quest to discover how other countries are when it comes to gender equality, I found a great website called http://seejane.org/, where I found the following statistics.  

Shocking statistics aren't they? Well, there's more:

Some key accomplishments of seejane.org mentioned on their website are:

• They pioneered and amassed the largest body of research on gender prevalence in family entertainment covering over 25 years.
• 68% of entertainment industry executives familiar with the Institute’s research changed 2 or more projects. Changes included |aspirations/occupations of female characters, their dialogue, story development or an increase in female characters.
• They influenced change in major feature films including Pixar’s Monster’s University, Sony’s Hotel Transylvania, and upcoming film The Little Prince. &
• Geena Davis founded and co-chairs the Bentonville Film Festival – the only film festival championing women and diversity and guaranteeing theatrical, TV and home entertainment distribution for winners.  

If people not involved in gender studies also took in the true value of these statistics, I think great change could be made in the advancement of the portrayal of women. But how will we ever know if the results of these studies stay oppressed like modern day cinema has been oppressing an entire gender for decades?

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Women hold ultimate power over society not men.

Women hold ultimate power over society not men.

Much has been written and griped about regarding the hegemony of female roles within society.  Complaints are heard such as women are only seen in the roles of Mother, Wife, or Daughter.  From the essay Hegemony, Feminist Criticism and The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Bonnie Dow bemoans these roles as limiting women’s power within society and the family.  In this regard I think Bonnie is looking at a very small slice of those cultural roles, frankly the negative she wants to see, and fails to see the power within them. I beg to disagree with her point of view that women have low to no power within these societal/cultural roles.  It’s my belief women hold a great deal of power within these roles.   This brings me to my question:  Who really holds the power in a family and society men or women?  

Mother role:

It’s been noted that a woman performing in a motherly role is somehow submissive to the man in the home.  Being sensitive, nurturing, and caring for others is somehow a fault and not befitting for a woman to perform, and that somehow those characteristics aren’t true strength.  Caring for and nurturing a family has become villainized, un-empowering, and in some ways weak.  I’d ask someone with those beliefs to come meet the Mother’s in my neighborhood and tell them how they’re not empowered and don’t control anything.  Seriously, please come as I could use the laugh as that person ran down the street trying to escape the mad Mothers some of whom are combat veterans.

 I can’t imagine a world, albeit some may because of life circumstances, of a woman not being revered as a Mother.  The importance of a Mother’s role in society and the home is all important.  As Shelly Locke, a CEO, wrote “Mothers are the most powerful influence for good on the earth today.” 

http://www.thepowerofmothers.com/

Considering that we are all the result of our cultural and familial influences, the Mother’s role in shaping future generations is quite evident. In this way women in the Mother role are shaping the world.  Isn’t that ultimate power?  Mother’s, or rather the Motherly role as some single Father’s perform as Mother also, are the glue that holds families and the planet together.  Furthermore, the influence Mothers have over their sons can be tremendous.  Take a look at Strong Mother’s, Strong Sons’ Meg Meeker with Raymond Arroyo and see how a young man’s interaction with women can be shaped by his mother.  

I’m sure most have heard the phrase “wait till your Father gets home” and in fact there used to be a show with that name.  In my family the Dad was the dealer of physical punishment when earned by a naughty little boy namely me.  However, the worst discipline I’ve ever received was the scolding’s received from my Mother.  The ultimate worst was the genuinely hurt look of disapproval and disappointment.  I would have taken a 5:1 ratio, or more, of spankings to that look and talking to from my Mom.  In this case Mother’s such as mine are shaping the minds and opinions of their children and thereby the next generation.  I watched my Dad’s Mother, my Grandmother, adjust my Father’s attitudes and actions even as a mature adult male.  I don’t care how old a man gets his Mother will always be his Mother, and therefore Mom exerts influence over him for life.

A Father’s social cultural role has been viewed as the bread winner and head of the household.  These roles for men are more and more a thing of the past. As far as bread winner, women can and some do make as much money or more, have important careers, and some Father’s now stay at home as home makers.  Roles are more interchangeable these days when compared to past generations.  Most homes are duel income homes with both the Mother and Father working.  Although the percentages swing in the Man’s favor, women do hold well paid important positions outside of the home. Dad’s do their part and help nurture children and help in providing for the family, but nothing can fully replace Mom.  When a little boy needs something, most times he’ll run to Mom so again she is influencing boys that grow to men.  Little girls tend to run to Dad, but that again gives women power even at a young age for Daddies little girl.  How many times have you heard she’s got him wrapped around her little finger?

Furthermore, a Mom also performing in the role of a wife has a great deal of control over what happens in the home and outside of it.

SCORE CARD
Women	1
Men	0

Wife role:

I almost have to laugh at the thought of a woman’s role as a wife being weak or subservient; my experience has been anything but.  As noted by Coach Jessica a licensed Psychotherapist both men and women have roles to play in a marriage. 

This does not mean that women must be subservient to a man in a marriage, but we do have certain roles that are expected of each sex. 

Women in a marriage have great power within that role.  What a woman thinks or desires can, and often does, have a huge influence over the man in the marriage.  Ok, so say we take on the persona of the man being the bread winner in a family.  It was said in the movie Miss Representation that women control 85% of the money.  If that’s the case, then what influence does the man really exert in regard to finances?  In fact, it really reduces the man to being nothing more than a laborer for the benefit of something other than himself being the wife alone or the family if kids are involved.  With that in mind the wife controls the power over the family’s wealth.

As far as support of the man is concerned, Bonnie Dow relay’s the idea that a woman’s purpose in the wife role is support of the husband.  In a healthy marriage both husband and wife support each other.  Everyone has bad days and experiences and therefore the role of husband or wife is to mutually support each other and set their personal feelings aside, at least temporarily, to the benefit of the other is the proper way. 

Moreover, I don’t know even one husband that carries the delusion that he actually controls or runs the house.  Women have an uncanny way of getting what they want which can be positive and negative.  It’s sad to say, but some will even use sex as a weapon to get what they want. 

Sure you could say that men do this too, but generally men are more likely than women to desire intercourse.   Therefore, a man trying to cut off a woman will most likely end in her benefit at least temporarily.   Manipulation of feelings, well frankly, both sexes do that to get what they want.

In regards to family decision making again the woman’s influence out trumps the man the majority of the time for some of the above mentioned reasons.  No doubt most have heard the saying “happy wife, happy life” so go ahead and make important decisions without consulting your partner and see how that works out.

In the marriages I’ve seen through friendships with neighbors, both men and women seem to share a mutually supporting role.  More often than not the woman wins any disagreements if for no other reason than the husband giving in attempting to strike a peace treaty of sorts.  With all the above mentioned items, clearly women have the advantage in the role of wife.

SCORE CARD
Women	2
Men	0

Daughter role:

In relation to the daughter role again Bonnie Dow sites subservience.  Approval and advice are things both sexes seek out.  It’s completely normal, perhaps even wise, to seek out the advice of those with more experience in life or a given profession.  The idea of being subservient because of seeking advice is ridiculous.  Daughters seek the advice of both Father and Mother as do sons. 

The power of the daughter role is to me, on the outside, awe inspiring.  I can only speculate at the true power of a daughter over her father as all my children are male.  However, I see so much truth in the saying “she’s got him wrapped around her little finger” in regards to a daughters influence over her Father.  Some of the pictures above relay a certain sense of this.

I’ve seen Father after Father bend over backwards to care for, protect, and cherish their girls.  Think it changes as that daughter ages, if so, take a look again at the Father’s shirt in regards to dating his daughter.  A little girl can get her Father to do almost anything, and the Father will do it willingly.  I’ve seen a few Dads in makeup so their daughters can have a princess tea party.  I don’t know how a daughters power can be questioned when a person witnesses what a full grown man will do for the approval of his little girl.

SCORE CARD
Women	3
Men	0

I think the answer to my question, which really holds the power in a family and society men or women has been overwhelmingly answered and the winner is: WOMEN!

In the roles of Mother, wife, daughter women are not in a subservient or un-empowered role; they exercise almost an ultimate power.

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