This week was interesting, informative, and challenging in a variety of personal ways.  The topics really left me with more questions than answers in relation to female objectification and male emotional repression.  I suppose that’s learning, but clearly something must be done, but what?  Bottom line up front (BLUF) the buck stops here, in other words look into the mirror for the answer.

There is social injustice on both sides of the sex spectrum.  Women are objectified, but it seems to be in part a self-fulfilling prophecy as they support the very agencies that promote their objectification through purchasing those companies products.  Honestly I’m not sure where I stand on this.  Women are not objects for purchase or to be manipulated in anyway, but where is the line drawn in how a heterosexual man interacts with women? Obviously horrible crimes such as rape and sexual assault of any variety are never ok, but when is it ok to say or think a woman is beautiful or sexy?  Don’t women enjoy, to an extent, being admired?  

If they don’t enjoy at least a bit of admiration of their natural beauty then why do they purchase the products they do?  Arrrrgggg, sometimes I really do believe Men are from Mars and Women from Venus.

In contrast, men have also been subjected to emotional stressors for life, but very little complaining is heard.  The voicing of injustice that is heard is not launched at “them” or “they”, “they” mostly being the media, but rather at those really responsible for it and that is other men.  That is not to say what women face is completely self-serving or invalid, but just different.  Not being a woman I can’t speak to what they feel, but as a man I can speak to at least what this man feels, and in that spirit is how I will carry on with this blog.

 Man up, act like a man, grow some balls are phrases most men from my generation have grown up with. Men seem to suffer from “emotional constipation” as stated in the film Miss Representation.  Why is it that men seem to be less vocal of emotional stressors or rather the repression of emotion?  Is it the Low context high uncertainty avoidance U.S. culture that’s to blame?  Perhaps the machoism displayed on TV and the constant bombardment of it on our boys. That media bombardment of men and women certainly does have an effect as noted in Cultivation Theory, but how do we break it?  Should we break it?

I personally don’t blame the media, but the male culture of my generation and those before me definitely helped to define who I am.  We learn who we are through culture influences/norms, but I blame myself for passing this culture of emotional repression onto my sons.  I do believe a man needs a certain amount of toughness, as women do too, but that shouldn’t mean we as men should not feel or be able to talk with others about what bothers us. Why would I pass this emotional repression on to my sons?  What drove me, or rather shaped me?  With those questions in mind I’ll dive into a bit of background.

These tendencies towards male repression of emotion are seen in all aspects of life and in particularly so the military community. 

In the military community it is not ok to show or express all feelings; there needs to be a certain amount of hardness, or an edge, to a military man’s feelings.  In fact, a man that shows any form of weakness will be relentlessly attacked, emotionally, to harden him up or to develop that “thick skin.”  Simply said, breaking down under pressure is not acceptable in any way, period.

https://youtu.be/71Lft6EQh-Y

As seen in the video clip of the famous Gunny Hartman in Full Metal Jacket, there is a hardening that must take place for a man’s emotional survival within the military and in particularly combat.  It does have a purpose and reason, and in this context I believe necessary to a point.

Although it may be acceptable in the military context, while on active duty, what ramifications does it have on the military member’s home life and life after the military or war?  What do they do once the “hardening has taken place?”  What happens when they come home?  Divorce is one of the results of this hardening.  According to Military.com “Prior to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan the military divorce rate was around 2.6 percent.  After the wars it was at 3.7 percent and has declined to 3.1 percent as of 2014” (2015).  Domestic violence and suicide are other issues related to this emotional repression especially in combat veterans.  SFGATE, in an article reporting on military domestic violence reported that, “Combat veterans are responsible for almost 21 percent of domestic violence nationwide, linked to the development of post-traumatic stress disorder--- that veterans alone account for 20 percent of U.S. suicides” (2014).

Outside of the military repression of emotions for males is also prevalent.  Check out this next clip of a Geico insurance commercial.  Yes, it’s funny.  I roll when I watch this, but the truth is men are truly subjected to a dulling of feeling or emotion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EbKssmdKN0&feature=youtu.be

Furthermore, men are also subjected to the desires of the women in our lives or those we interact with.  Check out the lyrics to Bonnie Tyler’s song I need a hero.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBwS66EBUcY&feature=youtu.be

Ok Ok, I know this particular song is very old school, but listen to and think about what she is saying.  Imagine how confusing this can be to men much less young men or boys.  Somehow we’re supposed to be heroes but sensitive. .  “It’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet.”  Hmmmm, guess I need a red cape and a big S on my chest too. 

Well, the buck stops here!  Back to the hard question I asked of myself, why did I pass this emotional repression onto my sons?  Right or wrong, I was raised in the belief that men were the protectors of women.  This is not to say that women are reliant on men, or owe men in any way, but rather I was taught to protect those less physically strong than myself and to be the “superman to sweep the lady off her feet.”  This culture of protectionism and machoism was reinforced and amplified by several years in the military and through conflict.  Therefore, it was simply a natural progression to pass this onto my boys as I had learned it.  I think I did a better job of talking to my sons and allowing for some sensitivity, but not nearly enough as I’m learning these days.

As I see it, the only way this circle of emotional repression and objectification of women is going to stop is through those of us that see these things as a social injustice.  It’s not enough to hold rallies and protests we must hit the media in the pocket book and the objectification of women will eventually stop.  In relation to the repression of male feelings, it’s going to take education on the side of both men and women.  Father’s will have to learn to open up and soften, but this must be backed up by women allowing for men to be more “touchy feely” or men will not change.

References:

http://www.military.com/daily-news/2015/02/25/military-divorce-rate-hits-lowest-level-in-10-  years.html

http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/High-risk-of-military-domestic-violence-on-the-5377562.php

WORD COUNT 1234

Greetings, From A Bryk

I'm a quiet sort, but take the time and get to know me and you'll find there's a lot going on in my head that I don't say. Who knows you may even find it quite interesting.

First thing first, my passion lies in video games. I probably play too much but I enjoy every second. Video games for me are a complex puzzle with varying factors that can be optimized and used in different ways for drastically different results. My current favorite game to play: Overwatch

Overwatch is a competitive Player versus Player orientated shooter. Two teams of 6 face off against each other using any six of the 21 characters of the game.

My favorite animal is the owl.

Musically I did the guitar when I was very young. Then I learned to play the trumpet. Now I simply listen to it as I am concerning more with refining my intellectual talents towards thought and a vocation instead of a particular instrument. My father raised me as an old soul, and I typically favor music from before the year 2000. Recently Ive been listening to swing and electro swing.

Cierra Nalani Richards

 

I went to Europe's largest Victoria Secret this January, in London.

I'm now officially a senior at PLU.

My favorite restaurant is Forever Sushi. (Their seared salmon is exceptional!)

I've competed in Miss America pageants twice.



& I've cheered from pee-wee level through college.

Hey! It's Raquel

My name is Raquel Rodriguez. I am a senior at Pacific Lutheran University majoring in Social Work. I enjoy meeting new people, hanging out with my family and friends, and trying new things- especially if it involves food! 

I took this picture of these hibiscus flowers when I studied abroad in Trinidad & Tobago in Spring 2015. It is one of my favorite pictures from one of my favorite tours that we took while we were down there. You can read all about my adventures from there by clicking here. 

This video is one of Adele's latest hits from her newest album. Adele is one of my favorite artists and this is one of her catchiest songs. Take a listen! 

Binyaamem - 101

Hola - Below is I the bubble blower!

Binyaamem Novus-Khan Artomen

He was sent to the planet Earth to be the greatest Poet alive! In 2015 he graduated Tacoma Community College with an associates degree in Business. Binyaamem decided that he wanted to enhance his communication and poetry skills. January 2016 was when he first attended Pacific Lutheran University to pursue a bachelors in Communication and a minor in Writing and Non-profit business.

LIVING AND LEARNING

BINYAAMEM HAS A VISION

http://novus-khan.vision/

HE WAS THE GOOD SOLDIER 

This is Ron

My favorite food is:

I'm Ron a full time student.  I love Dogs and motorcycles.  I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the world who happens to be from Thailand, and life rocks!

Social Media and Sex Workers

This week's discussions and topics all seemed to revolve around the changing world of Social Media. In the age of social media, new ways to incorporate technology with sex have come about. Social media and other tech advances has enhanced the movement. Today you can find legal ways to embrace sexual encounters such as Tinder or Grindr or even Craiglist ads for companionship. Then we can also see how sex workers can use these technologies to enhance their  business, legal or not.

In an age where sex sells and sex is everywhere, none of us are surprised that sex invaded the internet. Like in the documentary we watched, Hot Girls Wanted, the internet was absolutely key in their advertising, finding girls, and customers. The sex workers were then required to keep up an online presence that attracts other customers. This is a common marketing tactic for any kind of sex worker or similar. Most workers like cam girls, brothel workers, or porn stars are all supposed to keep a successful online presence. This is to attract more customers and gain followers that in turn will become future customers. Because of this social media access, the online marketplace for sex has grown dramatically. Everyone looks online for sex now, whether that be encounters or just porn. But the girls involved are always involved in social media, by their pseudo names of course, to attract and maintain customers.

This is part of social media etiquette given to girls as a guideline to their social media sites. There are given rules to their social media accounts in order to gain the most attention from followers and customers.
 
Connecting people is what the internet and social media are all about. And customer acquisition is much easier online when you have sites that promote you as an object for them to purchase. Because sex workers are objectified as a purchasable item, selling themselves online is a safer alternative than walking the red light district. The online community is much safer than the real community of sex workers and their clients. But, with the internet being vast and unending, you really have to market yourself in order to gain enough attention to stay in the business successfully. We saw an example of this in Hot Girls Wanted, where the brand new girl is getting edged out of the business after only a couple of months. It seems the competition is rising with more options out their for customers. This competition comes from the customers ability to control the market. Customers decide by viewership who is popular and what sites are popular. So marketing to the customer on a more personal level in order to gain and retain customers isn't such a far stretch.

With most social media sites acting as a second 'Pimp' to these sex workers, the game becomes all about image and marketing. Posting more risqué photos and chatting with followers will help gain the attention that the job requires. But with so many sites out there to enhance their work, what about helping themselves?

There are sites out there such as this one here that work to help any kind of sex worker with support for themselves and not for their business. This site is for any Sex Worker or ally who is looking for tips on safety, legal help, or any other advice. Any and all in the industry can gather and give or receive real advice that helps the person. There is a huge distinction between how the internet and social media sites can help a sex worker. Many sites may help their respective careers and gain clients and followers that makes more money for them. But the real sites that matter are the ones that exists for the sex workers, by the sex workers, for themselves to help each other emotionally or physically. The difference is that social media can work in a range of ways depending on its usage. For sex workers, the importance of a gathering place for safety and intel to be spread around is limitless. While the career boosting ideals from social media help them in a different way. Yet both circumstances include helping the worker's career in a way that is unfathomable in real life.